Sabotage — the ‘S’ Word!
OMG, Anna! I had to scroll to the top to see if this was my story recently posted to Medium. The awakening is so profound it is embarrassing to to admit. How many of us are sitting on this secret?
Early years were full of ups and downs — which one suspects when starting out in life. I cherished my successes and picked my self up and moved on after my misfires! All the while thinking I was ‘normal.’
As the years moved on I watched my friends become successful while knowing, I could have done that! I read all the right books, even bought a bookstore to insure my success. Eight years later, it too was only a memory.
Occasionally, sabotage crossed my mind. I swiftly swept it out as too stupid for anyone to take the idea seriously. Why would anyone soot themselves in the foot?
I continued to attend seminars, watched as others bought the books, and went on to become successful — Me? nope! Not even the books helped.
Eventually, I decided what I needed was a book listing a step-by-step guide to get me out of the basement of malcontent.
Recently, this article entered my orbit! Something about — Stop sabotaging yourself by setting boundaries! Boundaries? Didn’t I have boundaries, I asked myself?!
Immediately, I Googled explain boundaries. Bingo!
A boundary defines a limit. Personal boundaries outline our desires, needs and preferences, serving as ‘invisible but symbolic fences,’ They are a psychological resource that nurtures self-trust and our identity, (Mellody, 2013).
This could have been written for me — as I have always rushed in to help. In doing so, I was negotiating my boundaries by turning to the outside world for approval, whether in the form of money, status, ‘likes’ on social media, or chasing someone else’s version of success.
Each time you say yes when you mean no or hold back when you really wanted to speak up, you lose a bit of credibility with yourself — and self-trust along with it. Doubt, indecision, and fear creep in, (Mellody, 2013).
Here, I was looking for a complicated solution when it was sitting right on my shoulder!
Hello, Friend!